happy woman
A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:
“Please note that this Bank is installing the new “Drive-Through ATM Machines” enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts. After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been developed. Please follow the Appropriate steps for your gender”
MALE PROCEDURE:                                                           
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3..Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up..
7. Drive off.
FEMALE PROCEDURE:                                                         
What is really funny is that most of this part is the Truth!              
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up..
6. Attempt to insert card into machine…
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check make-up in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt..
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of check book.
18. Re-check make-up.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided!
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24.. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Re-dial person on cell phone..
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.
(copied from a Yahoo Group discussion) 
By the way, #27 totally did me in…LMAO.
In case you didn’t see it, I said “the joke was COPIED from a Yahoo Group discussion”!
On that note, have a lovely work week ahead. I know I will.
I am @ojukwu_martin on twitter


  1. lolllzzzz! Guy you no try oooo. At all! From entering of pin, you first check account balance. Then go back to “another transaction” where you put the pin again before withdrawing. Its not like she doesn’t know how much should be there; she still checks first in case someone don pay and she no get alert.

    As per the dirty look? It depends on the machine of the ride and the harmsomeness of the ride. If na “korope”…those agege bread like buses, she will eye and hiss. But if the rider is a fine dude, she will smile at him and tell him with her eyes that she’s sorry. Of course, from the days of Eve, men have always suffereth fine girl. Its only natural for the guy to give her a once over….assuming she’s yet to enter her car. So he tells her you are pretty: and forgiven.

    She might feign a trouble starting her car. That’s where Nollywood comes in. okay I don de go.

    But wait ooo: Walt acknowledges that he got the stuff from you,then adds again that you got it from a yahoo group bah? what about those who copies from Walt’s blog?

    • Lmao…your own na galactic case. I give up!
      Oh yes, the trail continues for whomever copies from his blog, until we have a trail of acknowledgements longer than the joke itself. Abi u no hear wetin do Linda Ikeji??

  2. Now this is really, really funny and like hell we rock pieces, who wants to know?! *rme*

    What will the world be without females?! We make the very universe revolve about its axis! Na we nah! And, we aint ‘changing our parade’ for no one, so y’all should just get used to it already! Ya heard?! ROTFLMBraincellsO!

    Nice one Chisom, certified dope! *laughing*

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