Come, what’s all this noise about women and an innate complexity? “Women are complex, difficult, unpredictable, irritable, erratic, incomprehensible”… is all I ever heard as a growing child. As I grew, the talk only got worse; interestingly, I discovered the even more distorted opinion that women are indeed in support of this peddled talk. I mean, WHO in their right mind would want to be complex and difficult and unpredictable and irritable and erratic and incomprehensible? Apparently, the answer is women.
I refuse to accept that. On behalf of the beautiful good women my life’s path has harbored in the past and present, I refuse to see this talk of complexity as anything but hokus pokus.
It was Mother’s day yesterday; in appreciation of motherhood and in essence, women, I present my proof…
10 ABSOLUTELY UNCOMPLICATED THINGS ABOUT WOMEN.
1. Everywoman likes to be called baby, ESPECIALLY if she says she doesn’t.
2. No woman likes to be called Mama Izuu or Mama Aliyu or Iya Momoh.
3. Everywoman will smile, REALLY smile, when you compliment her looks, especially her hair AND more especially if it’s true.
4. Any woman who yells and curses at her husband in the labor room is back there in less than a year.
5. All women like that they’re women, even with all the pain and abuse that they ever-so-complain about.
6. Everywoman classifies men into two groups – snacks and meals; snacks are flashy, sweet and brief. They only satisfy your temporary nibble needs. But meals are whole, rock-solid and for real. They hang on for the whole ride.
7. Everywoman will say she prefers ‘meals’ of course – balanced diet and all – but they all crave some sweet ‘snack’-time twice in every while.
8. Women like it when their men treat them like the weaker sex…because they know they are not.
9. Women whenever they get together, like to talk (NOT gossip) about what people did; special treatment is reserved for what people SAID.
10. Most women above 25 have told their girlfriends that all men are snakes at least twice.
10(b). All of them knew they were telling it to the real ‘snakes’
So to the woe-mongers, I say: Complicated ko…complex ni! Our women are simple…and beautifully so.