THIS THING CALLED…BEAUTY.

After I read this piece which again reiterated the ubiquitous mantra “beauty is in the eye of the beholder”, I wondered about beauty and the various human perceptions of it. Clearly, it is an important ideal to humans including (if not more especially) those who claim to not care. It is a word which abounds in discussions among youth, males especially because it is more generically appropriated to the female gender. I therefore took the liberty of running a mini-survey among men aged between 19 to 30 years.

The question was: “This thing called beauty: Take a few minutes to answer this as honestly as you can: ‘What qualities in your opinion, qualify a woman as beautiful?’ No restrictions”

And answers poured in, from the outright ludicrous to the hilarious to the ‘bombshell’ one-worded responses; I have relayed them all with little to zero editing. I like to call them the ‘26 Alphabets of the Beauty language’; they are as follows:

A. ‘Arsenal’ and ‘Barcelona’ and height – very powerful criteria. If u get money, woman character is under your control.

B. Pretty – fine face and body; personality – smart, character and humility.

C. 90% attitude and 10% looks: respectful, moral standards, articulate, at or above my frequency with God and NOT BORING.

D. Exceptional charm, self confidence, shining light that sparkles through her smile and eyes and willing to cook for me.

E. Respect for her man and knows her wifely duties in the kitchen and bedroom, handles children well and is always there for her man; respects God too.

F. Physically attractive, character, endurance and sincerity; I will set tests for her pretending as if I don’t care, she must pass them to prove her resilience, behavior towards money.

G. God fearing and catholic, humble, fun loving, enduring, intelligent, pretty with a lovely figure, intuitively caring with everyone even children.

H. Character and charisma.

I. A sight to behold – physically beautiful, I mean nicely shaped with some flesh here and there (wink), she has to be godly too and intelligent. I trip for intelligent ladies.

J. Neatness and perfect form of facial and body structure.

K. Beautiful – good and humane character (care and love); humble and respectful; God fearing and hardworking; smart and good looking.

L. Beauty physically and at heart; she must have those curves.

M. Respectful, facial beauty and kindness/generosity.

N. Gentleness and good character; other features especially the physical only support these.

O. Right attitude, sound morals, respect to God and humans, good attitude to strangers.

P. Character.

Q. Physically, she should be pretty; I love well-endowed tall, slim, dark ladies;

Emotionally, she should be mature, able to handle stress, independent, not crying easily, think like a woman not a girl;

Spiritually, she’s gotta love the Lord! Know how to pray, know what the scripture says about life situations;

Socially, she’s gotta combine being quiet and playful at the same time, love fun but know how to get serious when needed, dress well, act gracefully with poise, good listener.

R. Good height, slim not too much at least average, straight leg and good character.

S. Facial appeal, humility, sincerity and intelligence.

T. Truthfulness and sincerity.

U. Presentable, elegant, courageous, certainly tall, sleek, bold and beautiful; good character remains constant that is, respectful, God fearing, trustworthy, tolerant, understanding (ok with 60%).

V. Physical appeal, being lovable, respectful, tolerable and homely, etc.

W. Her smile in its genuineness, not lousy, can be discreet and very observant. A go-getter. One who takes care of her body, a good shape is always a plus. Stable and consistent, not prone to excessive mood swings. An optimist at heart with a beautifully logical mind.

X. Adorning her outer grace with wisdom, tolerance, understanding, and faithfulness to God and men.

Y. Lovely eyes, figure-8, long straight legs added advantage. Must have common sense, manageable character.

Z. A woman who is beautiful inside and outside and loves God.

My personal favorite is opinion Q, because it is exhaustive. But as I feared, a lot of young men (besides me…right?) have a meager or no understanding of beauty. First proof of this is in the opinions polled above where the word ‘beautiful’ is used repeatedly in the definition of itself – an obvious sign of misconception.

Another observation of mine which is as interesting as it is not startling is that many young men cannot ignore the relevance of physical appearances and attraction to beauty. So preach all you want about the beauty of a woman ONLY radiating from the soul and inner peace and cumbayaya cumbaya, the world is saying ‘eyes eat first’.

What do you think though? What is your personal opinion on the truth of this thing called beauty?